i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
