What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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