Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
