I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
