I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
