Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize