I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
