yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
