His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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