He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize