But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
