I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
