fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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