Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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