Do you still have your period?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize