is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
