he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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