Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
