just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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