Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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