so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
