i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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