I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize