btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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