Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
