i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
