My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
