Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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