Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
