Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
