Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
