It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
