So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
