I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
