Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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