Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
