I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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