He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
