I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
