My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
