so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You need a sexual gate keeper
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
