I wish you could order shots online.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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