My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
