Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
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Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
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It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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