the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
