One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
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I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
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I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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