he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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