I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
