Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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