No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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