Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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