That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
