suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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