I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
