question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
