when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
