This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
