Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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