...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
